Are you striking out in the dating world? Getting a little burnt out and wondering why no one is sparking your interest? Or wondering why first dates aren’t leading to second dates? Trust me, you’re not alone!
Who knows why, but a lot of people are struggling right now. Maybe it’s because we are spending too much time interacting with people on the Internet and not enough time getting to know actual human beings. It’s making too many people feel negative about dating in general. Keep reading because we’re here to revive, inspire, and encourage you to put your best self forward and get better at dating!
Before we go any further, keep your phone in your pocket! It’s an instant turn-off.
Let’s start with your attitude.
When dating, you need to project a positive attitude. No surprise that most people are attracted to those who look on the bright side. When dating, it’s natural to wonder what your future would be like. If your date hears you complaining about a tough day at work, or anything else for that matter, they’ll be afraid that’s how you always act and get turned off.
Likewise, don’t talk about yourselves in too much detail. When your date asks you about yourself, respond with a short answer and ask, “What about you?” Show what a good listener you are (and, if you’re not, then learn how to be a good, empathetic listener!). Rather than cutting them off or one-upping their story, like you might with your friends, be engaging, genuinely interested, and pleasant.
Now let’s talk about your look.
Practically speaking, you should always look presentable whenever you leave the house. You never know who you’ll meet at the gym or supermarket. When it comes to dating, being well groomed and looking great is an absolute must.
Women should always opt for makeup and a nice ensemble – and it’s probably time to update your hairstyle from the 90s and get rid of that old outfit from The Limited. Try pairing casual heels or booties with a dress or flattering dark jeans and a chic blouse. You can find great dating clothes at Von Maur, Nordstrom, Francesca’s, and boutiques around town.
Men, stop wearing old worn-out polo shirts and jeans that have been washed too many times. It may seem a bit shallow, but it’s true: Women are attracted to men who look like they have money. The right business casual outfit can be very attractive, like nice dress pants or dark-washed jeans and a slick button-down shirt. Try shopping at J.Crew, Nordstrom, or Banana Republic and consider going to a hair stylist to find a great look or just perfect your current one.
What to talk about.
Good date topics are traveling, family history, a little bit about your job/career, foods you like, music, and hobbies and interests. Bad topic are your former relationships, politics, religion, or anything that could be considered “your baggage.” If you’ve got kids, you can talk about them, but keep it to a minimum. If one topic is working, stick with it – don’t rush to the next topic – and really get to know what your date thinks and feels about it. Whatever you do, don’t turn it into an interview!
If you’re truly struggling at dating, let me be honest with you: It could be you are showing the negative aspects of your personality; maybe you’re being too picky. If you are coming off uptight, bland, and/or disinterested, it’s time to look in the mirror and take stock of what you have to give to a relationship. Get real, face the facts, and open yourself up. Another possibility is to hire a date coach to help you develop your dating skills.