An Introvert’s Guide to Marriage

May 10, 2022

An Introvert’s Next Step in the Dating World

Everyone has different methods and manners of dating, and their opinions can vary on what may be the next step. Introverts’ and extroverts’ dating lives can have stark differences. Typically you’re prone to struggle more when dating as an introvert, especially when certain anxieties are present. But, this doesn’t mean you can’t have a fruitful dating life or relationship. So here is the introvert’s guide to marriage.

A huge misconception about introverts is that they aren’t outgoing and that they don’t like to leave their homes often. That isn’t really the case for most introverted people. Unlike an extrovert, an introvert recharges their internal battery by having alone time. This allows them to decompress and relax. That doesn’t mean they don’t like to be around others; it just means that when it comes to needing a reset, they need a safe space to regroup on their own.

That being said, being an introvert in a relationship can cause some conflict if they need time and space to recharge. That’s why setting boundaries and communicating with your partner will bring much success. 

These “next steps” in dating can induce stress, but there are ways to approach them to make you feel more comfortable and in control of your relationship. Steps like meeting the parents, moving in together, and the topic of marriage are all good examples. 

Read on to see how, as an introvert, you can manage these situations. 

Meeting the Parents

Meeting the parents can be a very anxiety-provoking event for an introvert. Once you talk about being exclusive with your partner, this is one of the next steps that many couples may take. 

Prior to the meeting, talk about these anxieties with your partner to help lower stress when the time comes. Being honest with your partner early on is important as your relationship progresses.

Another thing to assess is whether your partner’s parents are extroverted or introverted. If they’re introverted, maybe this will help you feel better as they may have similar qualities as you. If they’re extroverted, then set boundaries for yourself on how the meeting will go.

If you feel overwhelmed, it may be helpful to meet them in a public place with your partner. A quick lunch at a quiet cafe may bring you more comfort. Keep it short and sweet, and then give yourself time after to reflect on how the meeting went.


Getting Engaged

Now to getting engaged! This is one of the biggest steps in a relationship, and it’s an important one. Preparing yourself for a serious relationship is a great way to make sure you’re ready for marriage. Marriage is a lifelong commitment and if you’re feeling hesitant, waiting is the best option. Considering what life will be like once married can help put things into perspective.

For example, if your partner is extroverted, will certain things need to change to make the marriage work? Does your partner like to go out with friends on a daily basis? If you’re not that type of person and wouldn’t want to join in, you’ll want to discuss a compromise so that you both have enough time together during the week to keep your relationship strong. Make sure they understand your introverted way of life enough to be okay with it for the long haul. 

Consider how to make your varying lifestyles work for you both long term. Be honest about what you need as a life-long partner. If your partner doesn’t relate to your introverted thoughts and feelings that’s okay, but try and get them to understand where you come from so there aren’t problems in the future.

Moving In Together

Moving in together and buying your first home is an exciting next step as your relationship progresses. Things to consider are your living habits and if you both have the same house rules. What, if anything, will change once you’re settled in together?

Making sure your commitment to  marriage is set in stone before this big step is extremely important. Marriage itself is a large milestone, but moving in together truly shows how your lives will align. Once you start the hunt for your first home, you’ll want to talk about finances. A great first step is figuring out how to get preapproved for a mortgage. This will allow the both of you to prepare a realistic budget and plan ahead for your future. Communicate with your partner what your financial goals are and work together to achieve them. 

Couples that plan to live together will eventually need to discuss how they’ll be managing their finances as one. It’s possible that this stage will involve a lot of trial and error, but with strong communication and patience, couples can build a strong financial foundation.

While searching for your new home or even after you buy it and start the move, find a space just for you that can be used as an outlet. Whether it’s a second bedroom, an office, or even a garage, having your private space to give yourself that alone time can keep you at peace. Each of you, introverted or not, may want to have a corner of the home for yourselves. 

Final Thoughts

Being an introvert isn’t a bad thing. Your dating life can be just as exciting and successful as the next person. In each leap you and your partner take, it’s important to be transparent on what you personally need. This will prevent issues in the future that might arise if you aren’t upfront and honest when your relationship becomes more serious.

It’s more than okay to tell your partner that you need time and space to recharge yourself mentally. They need to know that this isn’t space needed because of something they necessarily did; it’s just to help you reboot so you can continue your day peacefully.

As your relationship continues to progress, things may trigger your introverted anxieties. That’s why being open and transparent with your partner will make your relationship stronger in the long run.

Looking at each step in the dating world as a new challenge and finding ways to manage them to decrease your anxieties can help give you both a thriving, lifelong relationship.