Do you feel like you’re stuck in a “dating rut”? Like it’s become a chore for you and morphed into something you don’t really look forward to? Well, you’re certainly not alone! A lot of people get frustrated with the dating process and that can really bog you down. If that’s the case with you, take our advice and – at least for the moment – stop going on dates. No one is attracted to a negative Nancy or Ned.
Whether you’re feeling bogged down or reading this because you’re just starting re-entering the dating scene and might feel nervous or rusty, remember that dating is a journey; it’s got ups and downs and twist and turns. Since dating should be fun, follow these guidelines to ensure that you enjoy yourself throughout the dating process:
Start thinking of your dates as fun nights out.
Dating can be nerve-racking, a lot of pressure, and downright scary. If you go into the date thinking, “This could be my future spouse,” then you are putting way too much pressure on yourself and on them! People can tell when you’re sizing them up as a potential suitor and, trust me, that will only hinder the mood. Have a light and positive attitude going into your dates, thinking, “I’m going to have fun and learn something new.” Even if the person isn’t what you were expecting and the chemistry is in question, remain upbeat and get to know them by asking questions and being curious.
Plan the dates yourself.
The stigma with dating is that guys should take the initiative and court the females by planning the first two dates. This doesn’t always happen, though, and I’ve heard from a lot of guys that they really like it when the girls make suggestions. From what we’ve seen, many guys aren’t all that creative when it comes to planning dates. Most think “dinner and drinks” and that can get old and boring quick. What do you want to do around town? How about asking them to live music in the park or cocktails at the botanical gardens? Research some cool events in the area ahead of time and then ask the person if he/she wants to go with you.
Determine your must-haves and deal-breakers in advance, but limit yourself to three of each.
Too many people are extremely picky. With the increased popularity of online dating apps, more people are
Too many people are extremely picky. With the increased popularity of online dating apps, more people are quicker to judge based on looks and totally rule people out. But do you really want to date an extremely attractive person who’s also mean-spirited, narcissistic, and/or cruel? Probably not! Dating is definitely going to be a lot more fun when you relax, let go of shallow reasons for not dating someone, and concentrate on having a good time.
Don’t be too single.
Until you’re in an exclusive relationship, you can and should date a few people at a time – because dating can get less exciting when you’re totally hung up on one person. If you’re going out at least once or twice a week with new people, the odds are higher that you’ll meet a great catch. Plus, by going out more often, you’ll get to experience new things and have fun around town. But, be careful, this advice is a double-edged sword. The last thing you want in your life is to become burned out on dating.
Until you’re in an exclusive relationship, you can and should date a few people at a time – because dating can get less exciting when you’re totally hung up on one person. If you’re going out at least once or twice a week with new people, the odds are higher that you’ll meet a great catch. Plus, by going out more often, you’ll get to experience new things and have fun around town. But, be careful, this advice is a double-edged sword. The last thing you want in your life is to become burned out on dating.
Until you’re in an exclusive relationship, you can and should date a few people at a time – because dating can get less exciting when you’re totally hung up on one person. If you’re going out at least once or twice a week with new people, the odds are higher that you’ll meet a great catch. Plus, by going out more often, you’ll get to experience new things and have fun around town. But, be careful, this advice is a double-edged sword. The last thing you want in your life is to become burned out on dating.
Be prepared to extend the date if it’s going really well.
Figure out what’s going on close to where your date is going to be. Then, if it’s going well and neither of you want it to end, you can suggest your next move. Maybe the nearby jazz bar is having a concert or the art gallery next door is having an open house. Another trick to extending a successful date is to remember something that person said they liked. Before the date, you’ll have: read his/her profile; and had at least one conversation during which you (at a minimum) shared where you are each from, what line of work you’re in, and what you like to do for fun. Let’s say the person’s profile says he/she enjoy wine tastings; you can find out where the nearest wine bar might be.
Be prepared to plan your second date while still on the first one.
Just like preparing for extending the date, if the date is going well, use what you know about him/her to plan the second date. This will show that you’re interested in them and the fact that you’re a great listener. Both major pluses!