Being a matchmaker is incredibly rewarding – except when a client tells us one thing but does another. For instance, when someone (you?) hires a matchmaker to find the love of his/her life – but, when it comes down to reality, doesn’t have time to date. Let’s face it – if you’re so busy you can’t make time for a date within a week of meeting someone, you are too busy to start, develop, and maintain a loving relationship.
One of our roles is to help people (you?) to answer the question: “What are my priorities?” Think about it for a moment: How important it is, on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the highest priority, for you to be in a relationship? If you answer “9,” but then you’re not available for two weeks, the true answer is more like a 6 or a 7.
If finding love were truly a 9 for you, then you’d be participating in online dating, working closely with a matchmaking service, and also asking friends to set you up. Maybe you need to do a little self-assessment. For many, the most important aspects of life are love, family, faith, and career. But maybe you’re different. Or maybe, at this particular moment in your life, your priorities need to be deliberately restructured.
Dedicate some “you time” to contemplate what you really want to accomplish in the next three years of your life. Brainstorm a list, put them in order of priority, and determine how you can get there from here.
If love is truly important to you at this moment, become more active in your dating life. Leave work a bit early some days, if you can, adjust your social calendar, minimize activities that keep you busy but are hindering an increase in dating. As long as you handle it appropriately, the people around you will understand your scheduling adjustments. Most likely, if they care about you, they want you to find someone to have in your life too. (They may even follow your lead and their own true priorities.)
Let’s move from the theoretical to the real world: If you meet someone awesome and had a great first date, you need to be available for a second date within the next two weeks. You’ve got to strike while the attraction is hot because – if you’re really busy, that second date may evaporate.
The fact is, being available is very important to the foundation of any relationship. You don’t want this person to think you are too busy to get together. The dating world ain’t what it used to be. Some people go on a few first dates each week; and, after every date, they are literally thinking, “Should this name stay on my list of potential suitors or should it go?”
Someone might cross you off the list because of opinionated comment you made, the way you dressed or looked, or the fact you are inadvertently playing hard to get.
As a veteran matchmaker, who loves nothing more than helping people (you?) find love, your take-away is that, for many – like those of us lucky folk in Atlanta – modern life can be quite busy. All that means is you need to: define your goals; set your priorities; and draw up (and IMPLEMENT) plans for how to get there from here.
QUICK TIPS: Allow flexibility in your weekly schedule to date twice a week. Pick out in advance which two days you’ll keep available to go out. Make those days sacred. If a date doesn’t materialize for a blocked-out day, use that time to do something that still helps with future dates! Like inviting a friend or two to go out for drinks at a place where singles like to mingle.
Finally, remember if it’s important to you and you rank it at least an 8, it’s your obligation to make your goals and your life happen. No one else is going to do it for you! However, if you do want help, call us to hear all about our industry-leading dating services and the romance, marriages, and bambinos we’ve orchestrated over the last 18 years!