Let’s Talk About Sex
When is the right time to have sex in a relationship?
According to a poll conducted by yougov.com, there is no clear consensus among Americans on how to answer the age old question: how long should you wait before you have sex??! They found that among those who are married or in a serious relationship, 15% say they had sex within a week of starting the relationship; 19% say they had sex after they had been dating their partner for more than a week, but less than a month; and 21% said they waited one to three months.
The article is very extensive and includes data on different milestones people think should be reached before having sex and on when you should say “I love you,” but what the article doesn’t provide is any real clarity. The difference between 15 and 21 percent isn’t really enough to say for sure whether or not waiting a week or a month has anything to do with the longevity of your relationship.
As expert Matchmakers, we have some opinions/ thoughts/ advice
For some background, there are 6 women in our One on One Matchmaking office. All are married, except Carey who is separated. You can think about our advice 2 ways.
- They’re married, so obviously they did it right!
- They’re married- they aren’t single- they probably forget what it is like!
We work with single clients all day long from ages 23 to 83. So, we definitely are the people in your life to be giving you some expert opinions. For this blog, all of the Matchmakers separately gave their opinions on when you should have sex with someone.
Here’s what the experts had to say:
Sarah Kathryn: “3 months or after you have the ‘exclusive talk’ ”
Anna: “I think this is different for everyone. I would want to know that I am the only one he is sleeping with before.”
Jennifer: “At least 5 dates and after they have determined they are in a committed monogamous relationship.”
Carey: After the exclusivity conversation – whether that’s 3 dates in or 10 dates in, I wouldn’t do it until I knew I was the only one.”
Kyle: “This is a hard one. I think it is definitely a case by case scenario. If you and your date have a strong physical attraction sex will probably happen very quickly ,unfortunately sometimes once that happens people may not know each other from an emotional standpoint and somebody may get hurt. At least after 3 dates!”
Emily: “My answer is three months into knowing them. I think that after 90 days of spending quality time with someone, you have a basic understanding of who they are at the core. You’ve probably gained insight on their morals and values, and if you’ve gone that time without sex- you definitely like each other!”
If you’re looking into this subject for advice or help- I think we definitely came to the conclusion that you MUST have an “exclusivity talk” before going to bed with someone. Good luck! Any if this guy/girl doesn’t work out- call us! 404-888-1118. www.1on1matchmaking.com